These characters all play roles of one sort or another in my writing to date.
If your name isn’t here and you think it should be, drop me a note.
HOMER – Marge’s fiance. A man of many idiosyncrasies and talents. A genius in his own right and as approachable and generous as any. His A.D.D., selective memory, and irritating bad habits are offset by his good humor, child-like curiosity, and spontaneity.
SME: all things mechanical, 4-wheeling, bio-diesel, vintage automobiles, geology, Colorado history, diner fare, Vance Kirkland
BART – Marge’s tweenage son. Bart is brainy, witty, compassionate and plenty popular among his peers (especially the girls). To his way of thinking, all things are negotiable and there is no excuse for not getting your own way. You can imagine how he butts heads with his parental units on this account.
SME: dinosaurs, math/physics, bike riding, legos, current affairs
PHOEBE – Marge’s big black Lab/Shepherd mix.
AKA: Momma’s Baby, Phoebe-Lu, Fluffy, Cuddlebug. Head Of Security and Alpha Dog of the house.
Favorite Pastimes: playing Get-The-Cat & Gimme-That-Foot, Wanna-Go-In-The-Car? (4-wheeling/camping), giving unsolicited kisses, talking. Yes, her actual vocabulary includes “momma”, “Aaron”, “no”, “I wanna <fill in here with any of the following>”, “water”, “out”, “dinner”, “more”.
IZZI – Homer’s (formerly Mr.Lady’s) little Chihuahua/Pekingese/Terrier mix (the best of each breed – looks like a mini yellow lab).
AKA: Fuzzy Butt, Little Dog, Shit Brick, Poo Dog (most affectionate), Pee Dog (least affectionate), Sweetheart Dog (as in Homer likes to say, “where’s my little Sweetheart Dog?” in that doggy-talk voice of his).
Favorite Pastimes: not taking a bath! playing with her wooby or ball, body-checking the cat (NHL-style), chasing her tail while lying on her back (a rare talent), sneaky begging during dinner.
SHINER – The family calico cat (named for a black spot around one eye) who thinks she is a dog and acts accordingly. Supervises all household activities. Rides along on 4-wheel trips.
AKA: Kit-Kat, Shinercat, Babycat, Motormouth/, Dingbat
Favorite Pastimes: Ambushing the dogs, playing Get-The-Cat, drinking from any and all fresh water sources (do not turn on a faucet here unless you intend to share), vigilance over the toad habitat, spinning in Marge’s office chair, being hand-fed bits of avocado or cheese.
TURTLE – Marge’s BFF non-biological sister and confidante, a member in good standing of The Poleaid Kids and former resident at The Mansion.
SME: turtles, library science, scrapbooking, Amptguard politics, Killer Bunnies, YA lit, Firefly & Buffy, preventing breast cancer
MR. LADY – Marge’s dear friend since high school, THE God ‘o’ Editors and a fellow Keeper of the Cheese, the Delawarian, the hottest momma under the maple leaf, the very essence of charisma.
SME: FLIRTING (harmless, of course), parenting, astrology, music, gourmet cooking, social networking
PAIGE – Marge’s favorite teenager, a friend, neighbor, and ‘sitter.
SME: current teen culture, psychobilly culture, history, 4-H, and cute boys
GROVER – Bart’s biological dad, Marge’s ex-husband and good friend.
SME: computer networking, current affairs
SMOKY – Marge’s very dear non-identical, non-biological mind-twin.
SME: med school, army reserves, women’s boxing (she’s a champ), climbing, women’s health, vegetarian lifestyle, interracial family life
KEVIN – Close friend of Homer’s and honorary resident at Midsummer with his supercool dog Ralphie.
SME: British sports cars, the para-medical, rockabilly culture, smoked meats, extreme winter sports, Dave Matthews Band
JOSHMAN – Marge’s biggest high school crush. Ahem. More recently (since that was back in the stone ages), he is Marge’s good friend and favorite source of comic relief.
SME: tie-dye, all things bizarre, brewology, poker, polka
SHRINKERELLA – Another long timer – since jr. high (minus five years while we went through our respective deconversions). This space is too small to describe her and her baby dog Tisza effectively. Try to imagine a fashion conscious Jewish bisexual shrink who ice skates, loves butterflies and does not collect camels … and you’ll be getting close.
SME: psychology, singing, pissing off the conservatives in MO, pulis (Hungarian breed of dog that looks like a string mop), family of origin issues, dieting, all things figure skating, suppressing homicidal tendencies while on massive doses of steroids, living well with lupus
JMAC – Marge’s “little” brother and friend.
SME: massage & alternative healing, ham radios, TBI recovery, lifeguarding, EMT, outdoor living/survival
ANJA – Marge’s SIL, Homer’s sister. She is THE designer and architect. If Homer and Marge argue about style, decoration, or project matters, she settles it. Her husband is a genius engineer and her gorgeous daughter is blossoming into the perfect blend of the two of them.
SME: parenting outside the box, modern design, architecture, sewing, Pyrex, foodie, IKEA, queen of turning thrift store finds into fabulous works of art
BUBBA & His Better Half – Homer’s brother & his wife. Bubba drives big trucks for a living but spends his free time working on his Datsun race cars, jeeps, antique hunting, rock hunting, photography, much more. His Better Half works in healthcare and is a horse and dog lover. They have a cat, two shelties, and almost as many cars as we do.
SME: old stuff (cameras, cars, guns), Datsuns, Hondas, horses